You start with prevalence statistics which set the scene. Use of subheadings give your work good structure. You briefly discuss implications for individuals and society and attitudes.
It is good that you put Christina at the heart of your work. More reference sources and use of a greater variety of literature sources, especially academic articles would have gained you a higher mark. remember every statement of fact requires a reference.
This is the aspect of the essay which has let you down, You generally use NHS of UK government references. You need to use academic literature as well to support your critique and arguments. Much of your work comes across as you own opinion.
You need to apply validated literature.
