What part of this story  put together doesn’t do much?”Why have you selected the field of medicine?

The main question to answer is “why medical school”, essentially.

In addition to, “Why have you selected the field of medicine?” it is good to discuss your motivation for medicine, things that inspired you, ways you explored the field, ways you have developed qualities to succeed in medicine, things you want a committee to know about you

Cultural Competencies
Service orientation
Social competence
Cultural competence
Teamwork
Oral communication
Ethical responsibility to self and others
Reliability and dependability
Resilience
Capacity for improvement

Is my story believable?
Am convincing in why should be given a shot at medical school over another?
This thing is too long. Needs to be a page and a half or so. Like 3300 characters. What part of this story  put together doesn’t do much?